Wheelchair Girl: Chapter 6-6

RAWS: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2611p/35/

Chapter 6-6: Confession

―9―

He princess-carried Haruka back to the makeshift driftwood seat and let her sit on it again.

Although it was an efficient way to move her, being carried like a princess was a tad embarrassing for a girl.

As for the huge tire they had left in the water, it got conveniently pushed away by the waves and rolled back to its original position.

The tire was heavier than a typical one, presumably because saltwater had found its way inside.

Realizing once again what an absurd thing he had carried, his back started to hurt.

“Welp, I guess it’s time to return to the breakwater and retrieve our stuff.”

He switched from princess-carrying her to giving her a piggyback ride instead.

The wheelchair and their fishing rods were waiting for them. Everything was safe, nothing was stolen.

The day was coming to an end, the sun had gone down quite a bit.

A huge sunset could be seen on the western horizon, while the brightest stars already shone through the indigo night in the eastern sky.

While looking at the madder red sunset, Kazutaka said:

“I think we’ll have to pack our stuff and go now, otherwise we’ll come home rather late.”

Haruka responded with a lonely expression.

“Yeah… you’re right.”

He reeled in his fishing rod, hoping to find the last fish hanging on the hook, but it was just some wakame seaweed.

He quickly disassembled all the gear.

Kazutaka stood up, shouldering the fishing gear and carrying a bucket in one hand.

“Welp, I’ll return this to the shop then.”

The equipment wasn’t theirs, so they had to return it.

“I’ll come with you.”

Kazutaka tilted his head in surprise.

“The store is in the opposite direction, and we’ll have to come back here anyway to go home, so you can just enjoy the sunset and wait for me. I’ll be quick.”

“But I feel kind of bad for making Akasaka-kun tidy up everything…”

Before she finished her sentence, she seemed to have realized something, looked at her lower half, and went silent.

“Ah… Never mind. Even if I came with you, I’d just be a hindrance, wouldn’t I?”

“I never said such a thing.”

Kazutaka found himself feeling troubled.

“Really, don’t mind every little detail, okay?”

He tried to cheer her up by giving her some hearty head pats.

“Yeah…”

“Well then, I’ll be back soon.”

“Yes, I’ll be waiting.”

“Also, don’t dare to suddenly go somewhere by yourself, and don’t fall into the ocean either, okay?”

He left her after giving her a playful warning.

As he was now by himself, Kazutaka found himself thinking back on the events that had unfolded that day.

He thought he had somehow managed to pull it off.

Although Haruka had been hesitant about going out on a long trip, nothing went too wrong.

Well, it is true that it was a bit more difficult to get everything to work out compared to people without disabilities, but it hadn’t been that hard either.

There are people in the world who still enjoy traveling despite being blind. Anything is possible, really.

Perhaps this gave her the chance to go outside her comfort zone and avoid a future of being a shut-in.

Kazutaka reached the fishing gear store and returned the rented equipment.

On his way back, he stopped by a vending machine.

He might as well buy some drinks.

After buying a can of coffee and a pack of tea, he returned to the breakwater.

The fishermen around the area were also starting to get ready to go home. The number of people was dwindling as the sun went down.

The sound of the waves was reminiscent of a calm lullaby.

Haruka was sitting deep in her wheelchair with the twilight as the backdrop.

“I’m back.”

Kazutaka greeted her from behind.

But she didn’t seem to notice his presence.

Wondering what was up, he peered into her face from the side. Her eyes were focused on the vast sea and the sunset. She seemed to be deeply thinking about something.

“I’m back!”

Kazutaka greeted her once more while pressing the cool drink onto her cheek.

Haruka finally returned to her senses and looked up at him with a surprised face.

“Ah… welcome back.”

Kazutaka asked:

“What were you looking at?”

“Nothing special… I just thought the sunset was beautiful.”

With those words, she once again looked out to the sea.

Kazutaka found himself sitting next to her and watching the sea with her.

This marked the end of their little outing. The sea at sunset.

It was unfathomably beautiful.

It was as if the whole world was dyed in a warm hue of orange. Far in the distance, there were still the silhouettes of ships and tankers visible. The clouds resembled cotton candy, lingering and accentuating the orange sky. Frankly, the whole scene looked like a painting.

Somewhere a fish jumped.

A slight breeze passed by and shook Haruka’s shortcut.

Haruka shivered slightly.

“Are you cold? Then wear this.”

Kazutaka took off his coat and was ready to hand it over to her.

“Thank you but I’m fine.”

Haruka remained reserved, trying to decline politely, but Kazutaka continued to press his coat into her hands.

“Well, I already took it off. So please wear it.”

“…Okay… I’m sorry and… Thank you.”

She finally just gave in and wore it.

“By the way, do you prefer coffee or tea?”

“I’m fine with either.”

“Gotcha, then I’ll go with coffee.”

Kazutaka handed her the tea can while opening up his coffee can.

The two of them relaxed while taking their last good look at the sea.

Suddenly, Haruka spoke up.

“…I’m sorry for today.”

“Hmm?”

Surprised by her sudden apology, Kazutaka found himself looking up at her face. Since he was currently sitting on the ground, Haruka was slightly taller than him.

He tilted his head and asked:

“What are you apologizing for?”

While keeping her gaze fixed on the sea, Haruka explained:

“Only because I blurted out that I wanted to go to the sea, I ended up taking the entirety of Akasaka-kun’s day off. You had to accompany me all the time and help me out in various instances… I’m sorry.”

Kazutaka responded right away.

“What are you saying all of a sudden? I had a blast, so I didn’t mind at all, you know?”

Yet Haruka shook her head.

“No, not just today. Also at school. You help me every day to get up the stairs. You always ask me to eat lunch with you. You always take me out. You always, always pay close attention to me. I’m always troubling you…”

(TLN: Are you a dense heroine or what?)

Haruka seemingly felt disgusted with herself as she looked down at her hands.

She apologized once more with a downhearted tone.

“I’m sorry for all this time…”

Kazutaka responded with a grumpy expression.

“Don’t apologize for that.”

He put the can he accidentally ended up squeezing as he had started to clench his fist while listening to her.

“Don’t say sorry all the time. Say ‘thank you’ instead. You know, I never thought of you as a burden.”

Haruka always talked in a Kansai dialect.

The way she says ‘arigatou’ as ‘arigato’ felt pleasant to hear. The intonation felt warm.

Kazutaka liked it when Haruka said ‘thank you.’

He felt like he’d like to do more for her whenever she thanked him.

“That’s why, stop apologizing. Say ‘thank you’ and just accept my help.”

Kazutaka smiled at her.

Haruka went silent and just looked back at him.

Then she nodded.

“Yeah… thank you Akasaka-kun… Really.”

And then, for some reason, she made a rather lonely expression.

“Thank you so much for today. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I made some good memories.”

For some reason, she talked about this as if this would be the last time they’d do this.

“You’re so kind. Too kind. I just find myself getting spoiled by you all the time. It feels like I’m dreaming.”

“…Dreaming?”

A question mark popped up on Kazutaka’s head and he inquired further.

“Oi, where are you going with this?”

She made an expression that conveyed she was preparing herself.

“I think if I keep getting spoiled by you, I’ll be punished. So let’s end it with today. Thank you for everything.”

“Eh?”

Kazutaka furrowed his eyebrows and stared back at Haruka in disbelief.

This wasn’t good.

Seriously, what is happening?

Why on earth does it suddenly end this way?

Haruka looked back at him and said:

“Really… Thank you so, so much for everything. But please stop being kind to me. You don’t have to mind me anymore.”

Haruka put her hands on her handles and made a 180-degree turn.

She turned away from Kazutaka and was about to leave.

“Farewell.”

And then she rolled away all by herself in her wheelchair.

“Hey…”

This was such a sudden development, that Kazutaka had a hard time processing all of this.

For a moment, he just stood there, not doing anything as Haruka was moving further and further away.

He suddenly came back to his senses and quickly got up.

“O-Oi! WAIT!”

He called out to Haruka. He shouted.

“Hey! Wait a moment. What is this all about?”

He had no idea why this happened, so he confronted her about it.

Haruka’s wheelchair came to a halt as Kazutaka confronted her.

To be specific, she wasn’t the one who wanted to stop moving, but she couldn’t move further.

The breakwater consisted of many long block-shaped bricks. In some spots, there was a slight height difference, just a few centimeters, enough to prevent her wheelchair from moving any further.

With the tires of her wheelchair stuck in one of these many cracks, Haruka found herself unable to move her wheelchair on her own.

No matter how much the tires rattled, they couldn’t overcome this slight difference in elevation.

“Ah…”

Haruka put her hand on her forehead and dropped her shoulders.

Seeing her like that, Kazutaka asked once more.

“What do you mean by ‘farewell’?”

Thank you for everything you’ve done so far.

But please stop being kind to me from now on.

I won’t mind it.

Those disheartening words carried such a cold tone with them.

If he had to come up with a comparison…

It was as if you managed to get the attention of the girl you liked, but then she suddenly did a 180, questioning what on earth you were doing, feeling disgusted, and thus indirectly dumping you before you could even try.

No, actually, rather than ‘as if’

Wasn’t it exactly that?

Kazutaka put his hand on his chest and thought to himself.

He pushed her wheelchair as if it was totally fine for him to do, he took her to the okonomiya shop, he took her to the beach…

He tried to do all these things for Haruka’s sake. Was it just an excuse and had he meddled too much in her affairs? Was Haruka perhaps never comfortable with his actions? Did he unintentionally trouble her?

Had he become drunk on his own self-righteousness?

Various thoughts raced through his mind all at once.

His thoughts were all heading towards one dreadful conclusion and he started to sweat profusely.

Thinking this much made him actually feel sick.

…Did I make her hate me?

Hence Kazutaka timidly inquired.

“Did you perhaps not like being taken to all these places by me? Did I bother you?”

As he asked such, Haruka immediately raised her face.

“NO!”

She performed yet another 180, facing him and shaking her head quickly.

“I didn’t mean it like that at all! You were super nice to me and I was happy, I had fun. Today you even took me to the beach. It was so much fun. I’m really grateful…”

He still had no clue what her words of farewell had meant earlier, but he understood that she wasn’t lying to him now. She genuinely enjoyed the time she had spent with him, which was a relief.

Her eyes conveyed her sincerity and seriousness.

Kazutaka found himself sighing in relief.

Then he continued to question her.

“But then why did you say those things? ‘Goodbye’ and ‘Don’t mind me anymore’?

If you say such stuff out of nowhere, I really have no idea how to interpret and understand it.

“I’d like you to explain it to me. Give me a reason.”

Haruka’s face darkened and she hung her head.

“Because…”

The evening light stretched the shadows of the two of them.

After a moment of silence, Haruka revealed her feelings with a whisper.

“Because… if Akasaka-kun continues to be involved with me, I’ll cause him trouble even if I never intended to…”

“Trouble?”

“I don’t want to take any more of Akasaka-kun’s time and freedom. I’m sick of always being on the receiving end and having you take care of me. I just feel sorry all the time…”

“You…”

Kazutaka stared at Haruka, who had her face downcast.

He couldn’t help but feel amazed.

“So that’s how she thought about it…”

It was such a trivial worry that she made look rather dramatic. Thanks to that, even he got scared for a moment.

“You know Haruka, I never felt bothered…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Haruka interrupted him and continued.

“You’re so kind to me. I feel always grateful, I feel always warm and happy, it really sinks in that I’m not alone in this world and I’m so glad about that, but… But that kindness hurts.”

For some reason, Haruka showed a pained expression.

It almost seemed like she was about to cry.

Tears were welling up in the corners of her eyes.

She looked up at Kazutaka with those eyes.

“It hurts…?”

Kazutaka asked her with a quizzical expression.

How could the kindness of another person hurt you?

“Because… because… no matter how kind you are to me, I’ll never be able to pay you back! I’ll always be on the receiving end!”

Haruka grasped the blanket on her lap tightly while staring at her lower half with tearful eyes.

“I’m always the one who gets so much from you. You’re always so kind to me… I can’t give anything back to Akasaka-kun. I can’t do anything for you…”

This seemed to be something she had been carrying with her for quite a while.

She had found herself being tormented by this guilt.

She crouched slightly and hid her face.

She felt crestfallen and at a loss for words.

Kazutaka stared at her for a while.

He realized what she had been dealing with until now.

She had developed a complex due to her disability.

Now she found herself in a dilemma when involving herself with people. Constantly comparing herself to them, comparing her ‘value’ that is.

Each and every time someone was nice to her and pushed her wheelchair, she must have been thinking about it.

“No matter how kind someone is to me, I’ll never be able to return the same kindness.”

Was that the reason why you told me that?

‘Thank you for everything until now.’

‘But please stop being kind to me from now on.’

‘I really don’t mind it.’

‘If you continue being this kind to me, I’ll just suffer…’

“Hah.”

Seeing Haruka like that, Kazutaka let out a deep sigh.

Seriously, why on earth are her thoughts all over the place?

It’s not like I’ve been hanging out with you while expecting something in return, y’know?

“Hey… Listen carefully Haruka, I…”

But before he could continue, Haruka interrupted him yet again with: “And also…”

Kazutaka couldn’t help but say:

“Wait, what now? There is even more?”

Was there something on top of all this that she was still keeping to herself?

Just as I thought I could finally tell her how I feel about all this, she still seems to be not done yet. Everything she had bottled up in herself is gushing out now.

The talk continued.

“And also… If you’re this kind to me… I might misunderstand your intentions…”

(TLN: That’s the point girl, lol)

Haruka was still grasping her blanket tightly and looked up to Kazutaka, her hand trembling a little.

Her face was illuminated by the evening sky.

Haruka, with a face that was about to burst into tears, squeezed out some painful words through her throat.

“If you continue being so nice to me… I might misunderstand your kindness and then I… with you…”

But that’s where she held her tongue.

As if she knew that she should not finish that sentence, she pressed her lips tightly and hid her face.

“That’s why… Please stop being kind to me. Don’t mind me anymore.”

She uttered those words with a voice so faint, it seemed to almost melt away in the evening. She fell silent, her mouth now shut like a shell.

Her shoulders were shivering as if she was cold.

An awkward silence lingered between the two of them.

Kazutaka looked at Haruka with an amazed expression.

“No way…”

Don’t tell me she…

There is something I have to tell her.

There is something I need to answer.

But for a second, Kazutaka forgot how to breathe. His chest stung.

“Ah…”

Although he wanted to tell her something, the words weren’t coming out.

There was so much he wanted to tell her, convey to her. But his words weren’t coming out.

Kazutaka ruffled his hair while cursing himself.

Then he put his hand down.

“Ah, I don’t care anymore.”

He really doesn’t care anymore, he’ll just say it right here and now.

He had been trying to come up with a good way to convey it to her, but he could only come up with stuff that looked good on the surface.

He had been hiding this all this time but he’ll just reveal it.

“Oi, Haruka.”

Kazutaka called out to Haruka who was hiding her face and had made herself small in her wheelchair.

He took a deep breath and directly gazed into her eyes.

And then he confessed.

“I love you.”

Translator’s note:

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Next Part will conclude Chapter 6 and then we get into the good stuff…

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